I live uptown. I live downtown. I live all around.

Change.

The act or instance of making or becoming different.

I surround myself with constant change. So much so I'm not really sure I know what's concrete anymore.

Except that suddenly I look around and here I am....amass this concrete jungle.
The Asheville Conspiracy.

I came to Asheville so that I could change and evolve in my artwork. So that I could be present and progressive in my work.

I have been presented with a few less than desirable situations in regards to the heart.

You know when you get that knot? The one that tweaks out your shoulder? sits in the nape of your neck and pretty much completely consumes you. I was told once its there because your heart and your head are not connected. That one or the other isn't listening.

Funny thing about being an artist is...is that sometimes we think that that "struggle"...that the "suffering" is where the great art comes from. It is, indeed, a fabulous source to pull from.

I spoke these words aloud this week, "If I spend 5, 10, 15 minutes distracted by thoughts of you...it is 5, 10, 15 minutes that I am not creating"...."and that is unacceptable."

Change.


Sometimes we may think that we love greatly without reward only to realize that to be able to love greatly is the reward.

The Changeline

  The Doors

I live uptown
I live downtown
I live all around

I had money, and I had none
I had money, and I had none
But I never been so broke
That I couldn't leave town

I'm a Changeling
See me change
I'm a Changelin'
See me change

I'm the air you breath
Food you eat
Friends your greet
In the sullen street, wow

See me change
See me change, you

I live uptown
I live downtown
I live all around

I had money, yeah, and I had none
I had money, yeah, and I had none
But I never been so broke
That I couldn't leave town

Well, I'm the air you breath
Food you eat
Friends your greet
In the sullen street, wow

You gotta see me change
See me change
Yeah, I'm leavin' town
On a midnight train
Gotta see me change
Change, change, change

I fell into you now you're gracefully falling away

So long sweet summer,
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays.
So long sweet slumber.
I fell into you now you're gracefully falling away.

Hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
It is cold where your going
I hope that your heart is always warm.
I gave you the best, gave you the best that I had.

"Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke I caught a trucker out of Philly"

"Headed down south to the land of the pines
And I'm thumbin' my way into North Caroline
Starin' up the road
And pray to God I see headlights"

I haven't painted in 4 days.

I've seen so many things in these past four days that have inspired me.

It's very important to me to be present in my work. I've been scattered.

"I made it down the coast in seventeen hours
Pickin' me a bouquet of dogwood flowers
And I'm a hopin' for Raleigh
I can see my baby tonight"

This town is amazing. Its late; I am just going to briefly list the things I have been gifted with these past few days. Let's see if you can find them in my next body of work.

"So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me"

Music. This town is bustling with music. On Thursday evening this great wine bar on Walnut Avenue had a street party. My old neighbors are in a jazz band called Big Nasty.




Seriously. I'm not a fan of jazz normally...but this mountain influence is different from the Cape May jazz I loathed back home.

Or maybe its just me.

suspenders
horns
pianos
bucks
stand up bass
all resting on the black top of the street
jugglers (these guys were insanely amazing)

"I was born to be a fiddler in an old-time stringband
My baby plays the guitar
I pick a banjo now"

unicycles
banjos
hula hoops
drum circle
river

"Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin' me now
Lost my money playin' poker so I had to up and leave
But I ain't a turnin' back
To livin' that old life no more"

rafts
floats
vintage cars
vintage cars
vintage cars
vistas
valleys
views
farmers markets
cats on hammocks

kindness

oh...and a handmade hammer dulcimer and a guy who lite up like
Christmas lights when he played it.

Such a cool town.
Its been a good few days. Clean eating.
Good people. Great Conversation.
Birthdays. Mountain songs. Validation.

Safe travels Ryan. See you on the wrap around.

"But he's a headed west from the Cumberland Gap
To Johnson City, Tennessee"
xo

Bob Dylan
Rock Me Mama

Headed down south to the land of the pines
And I'm thumbin' my way into North Caroline
Starin' up the road
And pray to God I see headlights

I made it down the coast in seventeen hours
Pickin' me a bouquet of dogwood flowers
And I'm a hopin' for Raleigh
I can see my baby tonight

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Runnin' from the cold up in New England
I was born to be a fiddler in an old-time stringband
My baby plays the guitar
I pick a banjo now

Oh, the North country winters keep a gettin' me now
Lost my money playin' poker so I had to up and leave
But I ain't a turnin' back
To livin' that old life no more

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

Walkin' to the south out of Roanoke
I caught a trucker out of Philly
Had a nice long toke
But he's a headed west from the Cumberland Gap
To Johnson City, Tennessee

And I gotta get a move on fit for the sun
I hear my baby callin' my name
And I know that she's the only one
And if I die in Raleigh
At least I will die free

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me

cause just when the boat is sinking...

I'm frustrated.

I've painted over 35 paintings this month.





I think I've earned some down time.
I rarely give myself a break...but; I said to a friend of mine the other
day that he had been given a wonderful opportunity.

Time.

Time that he might never have again. Time to reflect on things that he may want.
Time to write a list.

Maybe on this list there is an apple.

How often do we think about taking time to eat an apple.

Slow it down.
Simplify.

And on the other end of my own advice is ME...
Me traveling,
me packing,
me moving,
me putting on shows,
me painting,
me packing,
me moving,
me barely taking a moment to eat an apple...

never less experience the art of eating an apple.

I'm taking the next week off.
Fuck it.
I'm eating apples.
I don't really even like apples but its time to fucking eat one.

Slowly.
Happily.
They say apples are one of the #1 fruits that you should buy organic.

Here I am...exactly where I want to be;
I am in the progressive environment I have been craving for so long.
Farmers Markets,
Music....
SICK, ridiculous Music all over this town and I've earned a moment to
breath it in.
Suck it in and eat it with my apple.

Here's the funny....
Let's see if I can actually do the whole week; no painting. NONE.
I am allotting myself library and research time.
(some marketing)
but mostly apple time.

The White Stripes
Apple Blossom Lyrics

hey little apple blossom
what seems to be the problem
all the ones you tell your troubles to
they don't really care for you

come and tell me what you're thinking
cause just when the boat is sinking
a little light is blinking
and i will come and rescue you

lots of girls walk around in tears
but that's not for you
you've been looking all around for years
for someone to tell your troubles to

come and sit with me and talk awhile
let me see your pretty little smile
put your troubles in a little pile
and i will sort them out for you
i'll fall in love with you
i think i'll marry you

The sea was red and the sky was grey

I have opted for a simple life.
Sans the drama that once left me broken,
shattered.

You remember me then?

My dogs don't bark.
My cats don't meow.

But the story...
still has the echo of their sounds.

I met your son. He pointed at an artwork and I prayed inside my
heart he wouldn't see the maps. Wouldn't suddenly connect the dot-less lines.

Silly of me; I know.
She was lovely. A bit of a pill smile but lovely none-the-less.

I wondered when she looked back at me...if she thought that my dress was better than hers.

It was, as were the shoes. Too bad it doesn't matter at all.

My dogs don't bark.
My cats don't meow.



Going to California
Led Zeppelin

To find a queen without a king,
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

"And I don't know how to slow it down"

Talula Loves a good adventure...

and she has definitely been on one lately.
However, it is time to re-focus and rededicate my self to my disciplines...
transition is not always an easy place for an artist to be;
and I happen to frequent upon it - intentionally of course!

Never a dull day!

Exciting news though...

in my most recent tryst I have discovered the most wonderful thing!!!
My hand can no longer deny my art.

It is part of me. It is in all that I see and all that I do.

I'm not sure the best way to explain this other than...I suppose
maybe I fought it...

or I simply didn't actually have it yet - but in this journey;
this heartache,
these failures matched with undeniable successes -
the successes winning.

I don't have to ask for the patience to practice my craft because it is finally
an extension of who I really am.

I give myself to you... lets go play in the waves!!!

xo

Norah Jones
Chasing Pirates

"Chasing Pirates"

In your message you said
You were going to bed
But I'm not done with the night

So I stayed up and read
But your words in my head
Got me mixed up so I turned out the light

And I, don't know how
To slow it down
My mind's racing
From chasing pirates

Well, I'm having the squeems
While the silliest thing's
Floppin' around in my brain

And I try not to dream
But them possible schemes
Swim around, wanna drown me in sync

And I don't know how
To slow it down
Oh, my mind's racing
From chasing pirates

And I don't know how
To slow it down
Oh, my mind's racing
From chasing pirates

My mind's racing
From chasing pirates
My mind's racing
From chasing pirates