*despite the lack of sleep I'm not tired. I'm driven. I'm erotic. I'm insane with lust. I want this.

It wakes me up in the middle of the night (3am to be exact)
a blanket of insecurities pulled tight
around my throat
constrict
unconstrict
block
unblock
write.
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.” 
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

There are only a few things I am certain of (currently). - I can't not.
A double negative when drawn abstractly can be a positive. A cross. +

1.) I am certain that I am not alone.

This 3am calling, the lists I write in my head, the artworks I draw over and over
are taking (over). It's maddening.
..and exciting.
Waiting for the chatter of the birds to bring me upright.
Write.

2.) I am certain that the universe (myself) has very specific intent for me (universe).

3.) I will continue to give it all away, day after day - to make art.

“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.” 
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

*despite the lack of sleep I'm not tired.
I'm driven.
I'm erotic.
I'm insane with lust.
I want this.

I'm an addict again. (transference)

I'm a wife again.
My wedding dress - a white canvas (wood).

I drew you in. (Youniverse)

4.) At the end of my arm there is an extension of myself that must create daily. It's often hard for others to understand (assumption) and I try to blend into the normal (society) but I'm removed. I am in an artwork that I have yet created.
Every blink is an eyelid full of potential. An assemblage. A collection of what I've lost (found).

5.) I'm only writing this to pass the time so that I can get up and start to work. (play)
6.) I try to be interesting on paper (monitor)..because in real life I try really hard to be dull and it's a shame that I have to market myself like this...I hope that someday I don't have to anymore.
7.) I wish the world (myself included) wasn't so obsessed with social media; and that they would take the time they spend online in a community garden or volunteering. (The extension of positive energy into the universe is the only shit that stops war(s)).

“The working artist will not tolerate trouble in her life because she knows trouble prevents her from doing her work.”
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles

8.) I love. I am certain that I love. (I wasn't always certain of that). xo