I think about someone every single day...our relationship hangs by a thread - literally

I think about someone every single day...our relationship hangs by a thread (in my head), literally.

The things we do. 

I try really hard to be transparent.

trans·par·ent
tranˈspe(ə)rənt,-ˈspar-/
adjective
-(of a material or article) allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen.
-easy to perceive or detect 

-having thoughts, feelings, or motives that are easily perceived.


I have worn these two bracelets daily for over a year now. One represents my sister..the other represents someone I love and respect dearly. I made matching bracelets for both of these people. Friendship bracelets..I know I'm a dork but I was revisiting my youth and it really had a symbolic meaning for me.

One hangs on by a thread and has for the past three months. One is as solid as the day I made it. 

Two days ago I was out and I was at a outdoor bar that I love chatting with a guy that I like. We just talk when we run into each other - never exchanging numbers or social media. He's from Philly so I think maybe it's just that we feel like old friends. I won't say that I'm not interested though; because I am. 

As I'm talking to him I look down and the bracelet is gone. I panic..without trying to look like I'm panicking - and look around me for it realizing that was foolish; I sat with it for a moment. 

I've been gauging my hearts attachment to that relationship by this bracelet btw...and I let go.

I let him go. 

Yesterday morning I woke up - and the bracelet was back on my wrist; still hanging on by its thread. 

..and I wonder what part of this story I'm making up.